ALWAYS NOVEMBER

Entrepreneur and public speaker Arik Housley recounts his experience of grief and growth following the loss of his daughter in this memoir, co-written with novelist Holly Lynn Payne.

Alaina Housley was just 18 years old and a freshman at Pepperdine University in Malibu, California, in November 2018 when she was killed in a mass shooting at Borderline Bar and Grill, a popular country-western bar a few miles off-campus in Thousand Oaks. Housley writes of his and his family’s devastation after the incident, and how their Catholic faith and solidarity helped them when they decided not to let grief define their lives and to commit to finding the joy that remained. Housley recalls the kindness of those around him—such as a local community member who bought him coffee, and a friend who offered the use of his private jet—in the immediate aftermath of the tragedy. In the months and years that followed, he writes, he began noticing signs of his daughter’s presence in everyday life—a bird tapping at his window, or particular songs playing on the radio. He still struggled when seeing other people reach milestones that Alaina never would, he says, but he took comfort in these small moments and remained thankful for new relationships and opportunities. For example, he used money from an unexpected GoFundMe campaign to start Alaina’s Voice Foundation, with a mission to “spread hope and kindness through education, music, and mental health initiatives.” Housley’s memoir is effectively guided by his experience as a motivational speaker, helping others process and grow from their own traumatic experiences; he also includes a guide answering the difficult questions that grieving people often encounter. His advice to surround oneself with kindness and community is straightforward, with plenty of examples from his own journey. It may still be overwhelming for readers dealing with very recent tragedy, but Housley’s book stands out for its openness and accessibility, offering reminders that healing can be found in small, everyday acts of grace.

An uplifting remembrance about choosing happiness in the face of loss.