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YOU CAN'T LOSE THEM ALL

COUSIN SAL'S FUNNY-BUT-TRUE TALES OF SPORTS, GAMBLING, AND QUESTIONABLE PARENTING

If you’re thinking of taking up gambling, Iacono will turn you to needlepoint or square dancing inside a few chapters.

A rollicking, often silly account of the foibles of a man who’ll bet on anything.

Cousin of Jimmy Kimmel, who provides the foreword, and a writer and sketch actor on the show, Iacono betrays his own title over the course of his conversational, goofy narrative. As it turns out, you can lose them all, or at least most of them: “baseball, basketball, hockey, wrestling (pro and amateur), hot dog–eating contests, horse races, dog races, bird races, presidential elections, all levels of football—including my 8-year-old son’s flag league and, of course, the Puppy Bowl.” The author has bet on them all as well as a particularly unfortunate event in which he hid a pile of linguine in his shoes in order to win an all-you-can-eat dinner: “I sacrificed a $75 pair of Nike high-tops for a $36.95 meal.” The economy of gambling dictates that such betting is to be avoided, at least over the long haul. It’s to Iacono’s good fortune that the bookies he lost to seem to have been forgiving types: One put him to work refereeing youth basketball games at a rate of pay so low that “I would be done paying off my debt when the children reached thirty-seventh grade.” Does he regret it? Not a bit, except perhaps for those moments when his body rebelled against the paces he was putting it through; the last image in the book involves the application of oysters in a way that may have the reader steering clear of shellfish for a while. On the whole, though, Iacono is funny, rueful, and frequently instructive, as when he teaches the technique (and ultimate folly) of hedging a bet: “Remember this rule of thumb: the more bets you place, the better off for the house.”

If you’re thinking of taking up gambling, Iacono will turn you to needlepoint or square dancing inside a few chapters.

Pub Date: Jan. 26, 2021

ISBN: 978-1-5387-3532-9

Page Count: 256

Publisher: Twelve

Review Posted Online: Oct. 26, 2020

Kirkus Reviews Issue: Nov. 15, 2020

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POEMS & PRAYERS

It’s not Shakespeare, not by a long shot. But at least it’s not James Franco.

A noted actor turns to verse: “Poems are a Saturday in the middle of the week.”

McConaughey, author of the gracefully written memoir Greenlights, has been writing poems since his teens, closing with one “written in an Australian bathtub” that reads just as a poem by an 18-year-old (Rimbaud excepted) should read: “Ignorant minds of the fortunate man / Blind of the fate shaping every land.” McConaughey is fearless in his commitment to the rhyme, no matter how slight the result (“Oops, took a quick peek at the sky before I got my glasses, / now I can’t see shit, sure hope this passes”). And, sad to say, the slight is what is most on display throughout, punctuated by some odd koanlike aperçus: “Eating all we can / at the all-we-can-eat buffet, / gives us a 3.8 education / and a 4.2 GPA.” “Never give up your right to do the next right thing. This is how we find our way home.” “Memory never forgets. Even though we do.” The prayer portion of the program is deeply felt, but it’s just as sentimental; only when he writes of life-changing events—a court appearance to file a restraining order against a stalker, his decision to quit smoking weed—do we catch a glimpse of the effortlessly fluent, effortlessly charming McConaughey as exemplified by the David Wooderson (“alright, alright, alright”) of Dazed and Confused. The rest is mostly a soufflé in verse. McConaughey’s heart is very clearly in the right place, but on the whole the book suggests an old saw: Don’t give up your day job.

It’s not Shakespeare, not by a long shot. But at least it’s not James Franco.

Pub Date: Sept. 16, 2025

ISBN: 9781984862105

Page Count: 208

Publisher: Crown

Review Posted Online: Aug. 15, 2025

Kirkus Reviews Issue: Sept. 15, 2025

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TANQUERAY

A blissfully vicarious, heartfelt glimpse into the life of a Manhattan burlesque dancer.

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A former New York City dancer reflects on her zesty heyday in the 1970s.

Discovered on a Manhattan street in 2020 and introduced on Stanton’s Humans of New York Instagram page, Johnson, then 76, shares her dynamic history as a “fiercely independent” Black burlesque dancer who used the stage name Tanqueray and became a celebrated fixture in midtown adult theaters. “I was the only black girl making white girl money,” she boasts, telling a vibrant story about sex and struggle in a bygone era. Frank and unapologetic, Johnson vividly captures aspects of her former life as a stage seductress shimmying to blues tracks during 18-minute sets or sewing lingerie for plus-sized dancers. Though her work was far from the Broadway shows she dreamed about, it eventually became all about the nightly hustle to simply survive. Her anecdotes are humorous, heartfelt, and supremely captivating, recounted with the passion of a true survivor and the acerbic wit of a weathered, street-wise New Yorker. She shares stories of growing up in an abusive household in Albany in the 1940s, a teenage pregnancy, and prison time for robbery as nonchalantly as she recalls selling rhinestone G-strings to prostitutes to make them sparkle in the headlights of passing cars. Complemented by an array of revealing personal photographs, the narrative alternates between heartfelt nostalgia about the seedier side of Manhattan’s go-go scene and funny quips about her unconventional stage performances. Encounters with a variety of hardworking dancers, drag queens, and pimps, plus an account of the complexities of a first love with a drug-addled hustler, fill out the memoir with personality and candor. With a narrative assist from Stanton, the result is a consistently titillating and often moving story of human struggle as well as an insider glimpse into the days when Times Square was considered the Big Apple’s gloriously unpolished underbelly. The book also includes Yee’s lush watercolor illustrations.

A blissfully vicarious, heartfelt glimpse into the life of a Manhattan burlesque dancer.

Pub Date: July 12, 2022

ISBN: 978-1-250-27827-2

Page Count: 192

Publisher: St. Martin's

Review Posted Online: July 27, 2022

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