An entertaining send-up of the most annoying traits of animals and humans.
A dog sues her owners for not taking her for a walk in Hines’ winsome comic novel.
In an exaggerated version of California, where animals have most of the privileges—and jobs—that humans do, a golden retriever named Velvet files a lawsuit against her owners, Albert and Marietta Sweeney, of Pomona, California, and their kids, Billy and Becky, for denying her “life, liberty, and pursuing happiness” under the California Animal Humanities Act. She specifically complains that the family has failed to take her for a walk for 17 straight days while she languished in the fenced-in yard and developed joint pain. Velvet’s lawyer, a slick cat named Bogart, thinks her case will be a landmark decision for pets’ rights, and also greedily reckons that “he could get about ten million in the settlement of Velvet’s suit and persuade Velvet to take her million” (Bogart’s lawsuit is also a criminal prosecution—why not?—that could send Albert to jail for years). Albert’s attorney, a pig named Winston, thinks he has an equally solid defense: Albert says Billy and Becky faithfully walked Velvet a mile each day during the period in question, and he has the dog-walking logs to prove it. The stage is set for a courtroom showdown before judge Julius Fox and a jury of kangaroos and porcupines, replete with lawyerly histrionics: “Isn’t it true, Mr. Scott, that you are not only the president of the Save the Snail Foundation but also its only member...[a]nd that in Oklahoma, where you last lived, you had been the president and sole member of the Save the Snake Foundation, and that you are wanted in that state for receiving money without doing anything for it?” The tide starts to turn against Albert when a string of witnesses swear they didn’t see Velvet out for her walks during the 17 days, with the most damning testimony coming from the Sweeney’s sinister cat, Lothar.
While ostensibly about animals’ struggles against human neglect and abuse, Hines’ tale is equally an exploration of the many ways in which animals inconvenience, irritate, and endanger humans—especially Albert, who struggles to preserve his property and finances from destruction by Velvet’s dogged boisterousness. The author relates these depredations in droll, deadpan prose, both from the shell-shocked human viewpoint (“Tore right ankle on run with Velvet,” notes Billy in a typical dog-walking log entry. “She pulled me over stones in the ditch. Got nose scratched on wire fence. I just love these times”) and the ebullient canine perspective (“[T]he chewing was just great, and I had a great desire to chew: window sills, chair legs, shoes, and socks,” Velvet recalls of her time living in the Sweeney house before she was exiled to the back yard. “Yet for some reason the Sweeneys seemed to have an equally great desire that I not chew.” The spoof of legal jousting is breezy and sharp-witted. (“[N]ote that the kangaroos have such small heads there can’t be much in them,” observes Winston. “We have ended up with a very good jury indeed.”) Color photographs of the non-hominid species in the text will remind readers how funny animals can look; fauna skeptics can enjoy Hines’s saga as much as animal lovers do.
An entertaining send-up of the most annoying traits of animals and humans.Pub Date: June 5, 2023
ISBN: 9798395944511
Page Count: 102
Publisher: Self
Review Posted Online: Oct. 6, 2023
Review Program: Kirkus Indie
With captivating dialogue, angst-y characters, and a couple of steamy sex scenes, Hoover has done it again.
After being released from prison, a young woman tries to reconnect with her 5-year-old daughter despite having killed the girl’s father.
Kenna didn’t even know she was pregnant until after she was sent to prison for murdering her boyfriend, Scotty. When her baby girl, Diem, was born, she was forced to give custody to Scotty’s parents. Now that she’s been released, Kenna is intent on getting to know her daughter, but Scotty’s parents won’t give her a chance to tell them what really happened the night their son died. Instead, they file a restraining order preventing Kenna from so much as introducing herself to Diem. Handsome, self-assured Ledger, who was Scotty’s best friend, is another key adult in Diem’s life. He’s helping her grandparents raise her, and he too blames Kenna for Scotty’s death. Even so, there’s something about her that haunts him. Kenna feels the pull, too, and seems to be seeking Ledger out despite his judgmental behavior. As Ledger gets to know Kenna and acknowledges his attraction to her, he begins to wonder if maybe he and Scotty’s parents have judged her unfairly. Even so, Ledger is afraid that if he surrenders to his feelings, Scotty’s parents will kick him out of Diem’s life. As Kenna and Ledger continue to mourn for Scotty, they also grieve the future they cannot have with each other. Told alternatively from Kenna’s and Ledger’s perspectives, the story explores the myriad ways in which snap judgments based on partial information can derail people’s lives. Built on a foundation of death and grief, this story has an undercurrent of sadness. As usual, however, the author has created compelling characters who are magnetic and sympathetic enough to pull readers in. In addition to grief, the novel also deftly explores complex issues such as guilt, self-doubt, redemption, and forgiveness.
With captivating dialogue, angst-y characters, and a couple of steamy sex scenes, Hoover has done it again.Pub Date: Jan. 18, 2022
ISBN: 978-1-5420-2560-7
Page Count: 335
Publisher: Montlake Romance
Review Posted Online: Oct. 12, 2021
Kirkus Reviews Issue: Nov. 1, 2021
SEEN & HEARD
BOOK TO SCREEN
BOOK TO SCREEN
A boarding-school fantasia, with Hilderbrand’s signature upgrades to the cuisine and decor. Sign us up for next term.
A year in the life of the No. 2 boarding school in America—up from No. 19 last year!
Rumors of Hilderbrand’s retirement were greatly exaggerated, it turns out, since not only has she not gone out to pasture, she’s started over in high school, with her daughter Shelby Cunningham as co-author. As their delicious new book opens, it’s Move-In Day at Tiffin Academy, and Head of School Audre Robinson is warmly welcoming the returning and new students to the New England campus, the latter group including a rare midstream addition to the junior class. Brainiac Charley Hicks is transferring from public school in Maryland to a spot that opened up when one of the school’s most beloved students died by suicide the preceding year. She will be joining a large, diverse cast of adult and teenage characters—queen bees, jealous second-stringers, boozehounds young and old, secret lesbians, people chasing the wrong people chasing other wrong people—all of them royally screwed when an app called Zip Zap appears and starts blasting everyone’s secrets all over campus. How the heck…? Meanwhile, it seems so unlikely that Tiffin has jumped up to the No. 2 spot in the boarding-school rankings that a high-profile magazine launches an investigation, and even the head is worried that there may have been payola involved. The school has a reputation for being more social than academic, and this quality gets an exciting new exclamation point when the resident millionaire bad boy opens a high-style secret speakeasy for select juniors in a forgotten basement. It’s called Priorities. Exactly. One problem: Cinnamon Peters’ mysterious suicide hangs over the book in an odd way, especially since the note she left for her closest male friend is not to be opened for another year—and isn’t. This is surely a setup for a sequel, but it’s a bit frustrating here, and bobs sort of shallowly along amid the general high spirits.
A boarding-school fantasia, with Hilderbrand’s signature upgrades to the cuisine and decor. Sign us up for next term.Pub Date: Sept. 16, 2025
ISBN: 9780316567855
Page Count: 432
Publisher: Little, Brown
Review Posted Online: July 4, 2025
Kirkus Reviews Issue: Aug. 1, 2025
SEEN & HEARD
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